Terms and Conditions
Brethren and sisters, we welcome you to True Believing Mormons, and hope you will find joy in serving in the virtual house of the Lord this day. Those of you who are here to receive your own Endowments should have been washed, anointed, and clothed in the Garment of the Holy Priesthood. For those who are representing old people who don’t know how to use the internet, the ordinances of washing, anointing, and clothing in the Garment of the Holy Priesthood, together with the ordaining in behalf of the deceased brethren were preformed previously.
Each of you should have received a New Name in connection with this company. If any of you have forgotten the New Name, or have not received these ordinances as explained, please stand. Or ask the old guy in white what the super special name-o-the-day is.
Please be do all you can not to fall asleep and be alert, attentive and reverent during the presentation. We will now proceed with the presentation of the Website Terms & Conditions.
You have had a Garment placed upon you, which is called the “Garment of the Holy Priesthood. Unless you were raised in a barn or just recently joined the church, you should know by now that it is a shield and a protection to keep you from bodily harm.
If you proceed and receive the full Terms & Conditions, you will be required to take upon yourselves sacred obligations without really knowing what you’re getting into in advance, the violation of which will bring upon you the judgment of God; for God will not be mocked. If any of you desire to withdraw rather than accept these unclear yet eternally binding obligations of your own free will and choice, you may now make it known by raising your hand.
You are now ready to receive the full Terms & Conditions of your exaltation!
- The content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice, like the eternal doctrines of an unchanging God’s perfect plan of salvation.
- Following the example of our leaders, neither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law. Rather than get all hung up over facts and ethics, we strongly suggest praying to know if these things are not true and rely on the Holy Ghost to guide you. If he doesn’t, you must have done it wrong.
- Your use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements. Too much independent thinking, though, leads to the abominable status known as Cafeteria Mormonism, and is strongly discouraged as we all know God prefers the unquestioning obedience of Nephi and Adam, our exemplars.
- This website contains material which is owned by or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance, teachings of Jesus Christ, use of the Holy Spirit for personal revelation, the only binding priesthood power on earth, and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.
- All trademarks reproduced in this website, which are not the property of, or licensed to the operator, are acknowledged on the website.
- Unauthorised use of this website may give rise to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offence. Collecting your tithing under false pretenses, on the other hand, is protected under current nonprofit entity law.
- From time to time, this website may also include links to other websites. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).
- Your use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of God. Oh yeah, and also the United States of America.