Brothers and sisters, The Lord in His infinite wisdom has revealed to our leaders the true order of proselytizing—Mormon Chat—as going door-to-door has ceased to be a desirable or effective means of lead generation and conversion…and even moreso when your product is as relevant and useful to modern families as a 22-volume set of Encyclopedia Brittanicas occupying two of your book shelves.
For this purpose has the Lord come to converse with the investigator through the web. There is a popular feature on Mormon.org where people can get straight answers from straight elders about the one true church and what we believe–so long as the topic is already mentioned on the church’s PR-friendly website.
From Mormon.org:
“You don’t have to track missionaries down on the street or wait for them to knock on your door to ask them a question any more. Use this feature to speak with a missionary online.
They’ll chat with you in real time and try to help you find answers to whatever questions you may have about the topics introduced on Mormon.org. It’s an easy way to have a casual conversation about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—anything from how to use the Web site to how to get a hold of a Book of Mormon.”
Finally…the day has come when you will not have to wait for missionaries to make their rounds down your street, then hide under the window and whisper sharply through gritted teeth to your kids to not answer the door or make any noises whatsoever until they have left your porch.
I admit the mormon chat feature would have made my own proselyting mission among the seed of Cain in Australia much easier, as I might have avoided scabies and heat exhaustion while tracting 12-hour days, as well as the tapeworm I carry with pride which helps me keep my slim figure to this day.
How to Use Mormon Chat
Frothy-mouthed critics of the church often harass me on Facebook and Twitter with false accusations that the missionaries at Mormon.org have behaved inconsistently or even deceptively.
While I do not normally pay attention to claims that our church is less than forthright (as any such claim is “anti-mormon” by definition regardless of its source) I will air the most common grievances here.
The main complaints are that our online missionaries:
- Dodge questions
- Give vague and incomplete answers
- Are not familiar with their own doctrine
- Give conflicting answers from person to person
- Claim we have never taught or do not teach things easily referenced online
- Stick to the script at all costs with pre-set questions like “What is your religious backgrouund?”
- A frustrating experience having only pro LDS chat topics, with sessions cut short when difficult questions are asked about our history
- Avoid tough answers and contradictions by encouraging you to pray to feel the Spirit and meet with elders at your home
- Tell bald-faced lies (not a colloquialism–mission rules require shaving daily)
Nothing, of course, could be further from the truth. To prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt, I challenged them to try asking the online missionaries simple Yes or No questions concerning one of our most unique and fundamental doctrines—how God the Father became God, and that we may also do the same if we are obedient in all things.
The confusion on this matter can easily be clarified with a quick reference to the Sunday School manual used to teach new converts of our church the basic doctrines.
From “Chapter 47: Exaltation” in the 2009 Gospel Principles manual:
Joseph Smith taught: “It is the first principle of the Gospel to know for a certainty the Character of God. He was once a man like us … God himself, the Father of us all, dwelt on an earth, the same as Jesus Christ himself did” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 345–46).
Furthermore, our scriptures confirm this regarding those who marry in the temple and remain obedient for life:
“They will become gods” (see D&C 132:20–23).
“They will have everything that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have—all power, glory, dominion, and knowledge” (see D&C 132:19–20).
With these basic doctrines clearly spelled out in the scriptures and in uniform, correlated Sunday School classes worldwide, I can’t help but wonder why this is even a point of confusion.
Nevertheless, one arrogant skeptic took me up on my challenge, returning and reporting with the following Mormon Chat conversation with someone who served our church in an official teaching capacity for 2 years of his life:
Apparently this Elder must have slept through Sunday School his entire life…probably one of those slackers you find hanging out and socializing on the couches in the foyer. Bad example.
Ask any conscious LDS member and they’ll tell you that God was a mortal like you and me once and that we can be resurrected and become gods like him (but still obedient to him) someday. It helps if you pretend you’re also LDS when asking this.
This official representative must not have heard Gordon B. Hinckley, the apostle of the Lord whose words we believe are scripture when spoken by the Spirit in an official capacity in our semi-annual General Conference:
From Gordon B. Hinckley‘s October 1994 Conference Talk “Don’t Drop the Ball:”
“On the other hand, the whole design of the gospel is to lead us onward and upward to greater achievement, even, eventually, to godhood. This great possibility was enunciated by the Prophet Joseph Smith in the King Follet sermon (see Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 342–62; and emphasized by President Lorenzo Snow. It is this grand and incomparable concept: As God now is, man may become! (See The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, comp. Clyde J. Williams, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1984, p. 1.)”
I told him that his conversation didn’t count and blamed the missionary as we are taught to do whenever they fail to baptize enough converts, fall short of their weekly statistics, or contact their families outside of Christmas and Mother’s Day. He gave it another shot…this is our report:
Yet again, this recalcitrant skeptic fails to understand the doctrines of our church that are commonplace and basic for members, but unofficial if asked by a potential convert.
Again, an appeal to Gordon B. Hinckley should settle the matter, this time speaking in a PR piece as the Prophet and sole owner of The Corporation of The President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:
In response to Time Magazine’s question in 1997 as to whether or not it is a teaching of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that “God the Father was once a man,” President Gordon B. Hinckley is quoted as replying, “I don’t know that we teach it. I don’t know that we emphasize it … I understand the philosophical background behind it, but I don’t know a lot about it, and I don’t think others know a lot about it.
Now many critical thinkers have concluded that if God was once a man who became a God, and that if we Mormons become Gods like him and do what he does, that we would therefore create a world of our own and populate it with people as seems to be God’s basic job description.
But the problem is…having your own planet doesn’t exactly sound palatable to some people’s ears. So how to phrase it in the best possible way?
To follow the example that the church has set for us, I researched the topic and found the following church magazine article on the LDS Church’s official website.
From “People on Other Worlds:”
“Long before our God began his creations, he dwelt on a mortal world like ours, one of the creations that his Father had created for him and his brethren. He, with many of his brethren, was obedient to the principles of the eternal gospel. One among these, it is presumed, was a savior for them, and through him they obtained a resurrection and an exaltation on an eternal, celestial world. Then they gained the power and godhood of their Father and were made heirs of all that he had, continuing his works and creating worlds of their own for their own posterity—the same as their Father had done before, and his Father, and his Father, and on and on.
Nothing is more basic in the restored gospel than these truths that, because of recent events of space travel, are so timely. The great hope of the gospel for us is that we may come to a oneness with our Lord and our Father and partake of this same work and glory and godhood. Being joint-heirs of all that the Father has, we may then look forward to using those powers to organize still other worlds from the unorganized matter that exists throughout boundless space. Creating other worlds, peopling them with our own eternal posterity, providing a savior for them, and making known to them the saving principles of the eternal gospel, that they may have the same experiences we are now having and be exalted with us in their turn—this is eternal life.”
I freely shared this quote with my doubting fans, as it makes the doctrine very clear and understandable. I figured there was no harm in fully disclosing our basic beliefs. I admit that I am sometimes tempted to withhold facts and doctrines, but our Sunday School manual came to the rescue yet again and gave me the decency and integrity to be unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
From “Chapter 31: Honesty” in the Gospel Principles manual:
“There are many other forms of lying. When we speak untruths, we are guilty of lying. We can also intentionally deceive others by a gesture or a look, by silence, or by telling only part of the truth. Whenever we lead people in any way to believe something that is not true, we are not being honest.
The Lord is not pleased with such dishonesty, and we will have to account for our lies. Satan would have us believe it is all right to lie…Satan encourages us to justify our lies to ourselves. Honest people will recognize Satan’s temptations and will speak the whole truth, even if it seems to be to their disadvantage.”
These doubting nonmembers did not believe the doctrine, as is their choice, but they thanked me for being upfront about our beliefs. I feel confident that our church’s leaders, whose example we are counseled to follow, would give the same forthright answers to gospel questions, as well as those mormon chat missionaries asked to represent the church.
Oops! Another bad example. Onward, ever onward….Finally, I logged into Mormon Chat myself and pretended to be a nonmember so that I could confirm that they held these same high standards as our church’s leaders:
See?!!! I believe this conversation goes to show that our online missionaries, General Conference talks, Public Relations statements, and Sunday School manuals are ALL consistent about our basic beliefs.
I testify unto you that if you press forward with the same faith and persistence, endure to the end after making several repeated attempts, you too will find out our true doctrine in Mormon Chat from the fingertips of those called and ordained to teach the everlasting gospel in its fullness.
I challenge each of you to gain a similar testimony by going to Mormon Chat and asking them straightforward questions here, observe conditions generally, then return and report. Each of you bow your head and say “Yes.”
Until next time…Stay Worthy, Brothers and Sisters!
Spencer L. Jensen, Mormon Chat Lover
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