Why are more Mormons Walking Out of Church Since 1837?
Could these disaffected members’ claims of fraud, thought control, and hypocrisy be founded on readily-available historical facts, or can we continue to excommunicate and blame the victims while disregarding their preposterous claims as “anti-mormon?”
Regardless, brothers & sisters, the time is NOW to do nothing! Let us continue to suspend reason and follow our leaders’ inspired counsel to never criticize the one true church, even if that criticism is true.
To combat the vicious truths being spread by freethinkers who revel in their evidence and intellectual authenticity, we have compiled a veritable smorgasbord of faith-promoting facts to distract you from your questioning–now with 50% more empty promises, cover-ups, and half-truths![features_box_blue width="75%" + border="2px"]
When You “Take the Discussions” with Spencer, You’ll Learn…[red_arrow_list width="100%"]
- Why apostles of God teach that Oral Sex is an unholy and impure practice that violates temple covenants. Learn the true secret to marital bliss!
- Absolute, irrefutable proof that Joseph Smith is a prophet despite having plural marriages with 11 other dudes’ wives while denying it under oath!
- Get a proven, step-by-step plan for godhood–millions of gullible and emotionally needy converts can’t be wrong! Create your own planet! (while supplies last)
- Mormon underwear: What does it look like? Will it protect your babymaker from physical harm? How you can get a pair after a year of exact obedience and thousands of dollars!
- Legends of the Hidden Temple…What goes on in the temple? Do we still get almost naked in them and let old people touch our loins? Can I have my death oaths regular, or extra gruesome?
- KILLER passive-aggressive techniques: How to judge your neighbor for 37 minimal infractions that only matter to 0.0001% of the world’s population in 60 seconds or less, with a smile on your face!
- How praying about the Book of Mormon will prove to you that the church is everything our leaders tell us it is. And we know this works because the Book of Mormon says so!
- Why our 14-year-old daughters are regularly questioned about touching their privates during closed-door, one-on-one interviews with men 3 times their age…and we love it!
- Our leaders’ wisdom in requiring that we not associate with people whose teachings are not in harmony with the church’s–at risk of losing your temple recommend!
- BLAST through your family members’ personal boundaries and persistently and unempathically love bomb them back into the fold!
- How the One True Church (a.k.a. “Caffeine-Free Scientology Lite,”) gets to indoctrinate you from cradle to grave with an absolute, all-or-nothing worldview through a subtly coordinated system of manipulation and ideological totalism, but when other groups do it they’re crazy cults!
- Secrets of Hostage Negotiators: Why paying 10% of your money for decades straight is better than losing 100% of your family in the next life!
- How we know through modern revelation that masturbation is the true cause of homosexuality…and how it’s now okay to BE gay, as long as you don’t think, feel, look, dress, sound, or act gay!
- But wait! There’s more…Act now, and get Mark E. Petersen’s “Top 10 Ways to Stop Masturbating Forever This Time”–including avoiding mirrors, taking cold showers, and tying your hands to the bedpost!
[divider_bar]Insert Your Text Here[/divider_bar]Read what these church leaders had to say about questioning mormon leaders’ claims and statements…then please disregard it ’cuz thinking too much is really, really BAD for your beliefs!!![three_columns_1]“Each of us has to face the matter–Either the church is true or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the church and kingdom of God, or it is nothing.” –Gordon B. Hinckley, General Conference, April 2003[/three_columns_1] [three_columns_2]“If a faith will not bear to be investigated: if its preachers and professors are afraid to have it examined, their foundation must be very weak.” –George Albert Smith, Journal Of Discourses, v 14, p 216[/three_columns_2] [three_columns_3]“Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a prophet of God…or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground.” –Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, p 188.[/three_columns_3] [divider_bar]Insert Your Text Here[/divider_bar]
“Wow…You Guys Seem So Normal Now…”
Yep…and family-centered! And Nice;) So what we often do here at The Corporation of the President of True Believing Mormons, Inc., is present to visitors a simple, straightforward series of 6 discussions (articles and cartoon videos) on what you can expect to see and hear in random stakes and wards around the world in reality.
And as our way of saying “Welcome to the neighborhood,” here’s a plate of cookies for you and your family to enjoy. It’s our patented Celestial Checklist for Eternal Pregnancy & Polygamy. It contains 3 ancient flowcharts inscribed by the hand of MeccaLeccaHiMeccaHineyHomey himself that I discovered and dug up behind the local library with my trusty seer stone.
Just enter your email address and I’ll send you the multi-part cartoon series and 3 ancient flowcharts. No big deal. There’s absolutely NO obligation and you can unsubscribe at any time with just two clicks. We’re not like those other churches.